Father Figures
I have always been intrigued by daddy/daughter relationships, probably because I don’t really remember having one. Though my brother assures me I was the apple of our father’s eye from the day I was born, I was too young to remember that part of my childhood.
I never really knew my dad or either of my grandfathers. Dad deserted our family when I was six, my brothers were nine and twelve. For years I only got one side of the story since he didn’t keep in contact with us. Mom was always working, or sleeping when she was home, filling both roles as a single parent of three. I didn’t comprehend the complexity of her job until I was an adult myself. She just seemed to make it all work; providing what we needed and then some, in spite of limited resources and sometimes seemingly ungrateful children.
Apparently anyone can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad. I was blessed to have a very special dad right next door growing up. He could fix anything, and was always available to help. Lucky for me, I was outgoing, even as a child, never afraid to ask for what I needed and seek out what was missing in our family.
I have no biological children of my own, but naturally nurture other’s children, and even some adults. We all parent each other in a variety of ways, and while there are universal attributes we associate with parenting, everyone does it differently.
As a family counselor and parent educator early in my career, I found it fascinating to see such voids in some parents’ capacity to raise responsible children. In all fairness, we live what we learn, and we can’t teach something we don’t know. Being raised by my mom, I think I got a super concentrated double dose of what it takes to cultivate confidence, discipline and self-sufficiency. As the oldest of seven whose father died when she was only a teenager, I guess she got a jump start on the elements of independence which are obviously rooted in strong family relationships.
My mom was the best mom AND dad ever. She loved us unconditionally, making it consistently clear that we were her highest and most cherished priority. And my adopted dad next door filled in the blanks, always making himself available for any needs that arose. Even to this day, he remains a significant source of support and encouragement in my life and a master at making me feel loved and special.
We set aside one day a year to honor fathers and mothers, yet their jobs are endless. Don’t wait until a designated day to give thanks and praise for the significant guides in your life. Express your appreciation daily, in large doses, just as they do so naturally.
